This little place of mine here online has periods of being neglected in which I completely pretend it doesn’t exist at all. That is totally okay.
When I plug back in and read comments that spark my soul, it gives me fuel to write again and to share whatever I’m feeling freely. (I’d rather express true words every now and then instead of spitting consistent bull to meet some expectation.)
This blog started out as a sort of diary towards a better me. Then pressure built up from people around me as to what I “should” be doing. I realize as I’ve gotten older, that the process of filtering my own thoughts from others’ opinions has become less of an innately automatic occurrence, and more of an anxiety trigger. Anxiety is a crippling liar wearing a mask called fear. I struggle with this and it manifests in procrastination and indecision. Love the journey, right?
Life isn’t a game, it is an experience and a gift to be lived from your truth. There is no timeline to contain the ever flowing and growing essence that IS each of us. I’m writing this as not only a self reminder, but a challenge. Whatever you do, be yourself….under pressure, while depressed or suppressed, when angry, when happy, when confused, apathetic or elated; just let your energy F L O W.
Sometimes that flow is toddler-esk. Sometimes that flow is silently wild or loudly serious. Sometime that flow is stagnant….(be patient). Whatever it is, it’s a snapshot of you and that is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. It is something to LEARN from.
Sometimes innate flow is against the current of the mainstream, don’t let that shake you, follow your heart.
If you need space, take it. If you want love, MAKE IT! The source energy from which we come is connected to an infinite channel of wisdom within you.
The following is a list of self-truths from my heart to yours:
– Change is the only constant, so don’t be so hard on yourself.
– You are worthy. (Try saying “I am worthy” out loud 108 times. It will move you. If you don’t believe me, then more reason to try it.)
– Forgiveness is freedom.
– You are powerful like a wildfire, but be gentle, careful not to burn anyone, especially yourself.
– You don’t know as much as you think you know, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know anything.
– Excuses don’t make you lame, they make you limited. Be honest with yourself about your time and your wants, then adjust accordingly so that you won’t have to make excuses. (It’s okay to say NO)
– Don’t ‘should’ all over people, you have your own self to tend to.
– Plants are lovely company and dirt is healing
– God is good