Today I took a leap that my heart had been yearning for and I decided to listen to a voice muffled beneath the sensational noise of societal norms. I deleted Instagram and Facebook. I had permanently deleted twitter a while back, and facebook wasn’t so hard to detach from, but my biggest social media time guzzler was Instagram. I went for permanent IG deletion because deactivation hasn’t given me the space I want. Now that it is out of existence, I feel like an empty vessel in the best way possible, fresh room to be filled with unseen treasures of vitality. It is too soon to say how this will benefit my life, but I am certain it will. For now, I am celebrating the small victory of choosing me, giving myself a chance to live in my physical world more presently. The next step is to figure out what to do in the moments my thumbs would mindlessly twiddle straight to the IG icon, scrolling into a gazed trance of lives all but my own. I hope to read more, to spend more time on my studies, dive deeper into my art and most of all, be fully engaged in my closest relationships with friends, family and my partner. I am excited and curious to experience life without the option or urge to post the beauty all around me. My life is full of so many blessings, many of which cannot be captured behind a camera lens. I am beginning the process of calibrating my perspective to embrace life without a filter or edits. I am making a choice to live life unplugged. Maybe I will write a lot more now too.
It’s been a while since I posted anything pertaining specifically to my yoga journey. Right now I am doing my best to balance my passions and the work associated with making those things happen. I moved to St. Pete for chiropractic school back in August 2017 and for the past few months I’ve been teaching at two studios I really love and used to only imagine teaching at. I remember when I honestly doubted I would ever teach regularly, but it is happening and I am deeply grateful for the wonderful people in my life who support and encourage my pursuit of what makes me happy.
My kind of yoga isn’t focused on mastering advanced asanas, I’m more eager to master the balance necessary to live well in union with God. That may look different for each of us, but for me it is simplicity, patience and gentle compassion for myself without judgement or comparison to others. The poses may come eventually, but if not, that’s okay too.
I want my profession, my hobbies, my food, my environment to be that which cultivates a healthy mind, body, and spirit (the entire purpose of starting this blog five years ago was to support this journey). This is my heart’s greatest desire. This is my truth.
Right now my ‘yoga’ is :
Taking time to breathe when I wake up, placing a hand over my heart and feeling it beat
checking in with my posture throughout the day to breathe into my heart space and open my chest (I tend to hunch over due to years of negative self talk and low self-esteem, combating the energetic and musculature developments associated with this is a constant conscious efforts)
Making eye contact with peace instead of fear
taking yoga classes and not just teaching
trying not to take on too much ( it’s okay to say NO!)
putting my phone and other electronics down and away from my body
maintaining a healthy relationship with food
removing excess stuff from my life
taking care of my plants
appreciating the little things
smiling at myself until it’s real
resting without guilt
Yoga truly is a life of mindful progress. That looks different for everyone. All I can really do is honor my journey and share it when I can. We each have all that we need within ourselves. One thing I know for sure it that fear and anxiety blocks the inner reservoir of light and love within each of us. How cool would it be if everyone tapped into that space? What a world it would be. #goals lol
The light within me, honors the light within you. Wishing you well always.
“…The tongue may speak to human ears, but souls are reached by souls that speak to souls…”
1977 Healers and the Healing Process – George W. Weeks
I was recently gifted an assortment of old books on holistic medicine. Some dated as far back as 1916. I’m fawning over the illustrations, fonts and wealth of information that is still so pertinent today. Many of the pages I randomly opened to seemed filled with words I needed in that moment. This has become the highlight of my week and makes all the stress of exams and deadlines worth it. I’m really looking forward to sharing more about what I find in these gems. Today at my chiropractic assistantship I felt the fire inside for healing get stronger. I have such a long way to go, but I am indeed on my way and that feels pretty good. I have been working on listening and observing my thoughts more closely and I realize that I am much more negative than I presumed. This closer observation gives me more leverage in successfully shifting my inner dialogue. I aim to create a more open channel within my vessel, one that is ready and able to receive the things meant for me. I truly believe that it is working and I want to write about the synchronicities with events and numbers that have occurred lately, but instead, my intuition tells me to just process and remain quietly present. In brief moments when I compare myself to this world, I’m afraid that I might be the crazy one, but deep down I know that’s just fear talking me out of being me. I have to constantly keep reminding myself that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Don’t forget that.
I always assumed everything would just click one day. In a unique way it does, but for a while I was waiting for a special moment, a feeling of readiness to just be me, as if an awareness/self-love fairy would sprinkle womanhood dust on me in my sleep and I’d wake up feeling perfectly complete.
I’ve learned there is no special moment unless you make one…every second, of every day, be authentic for you. Wake up, choose to be grounded in spirit, show up and trust in God to have your back (universe, source, yourself, whatever you believe, just TRUST). On some days I may have to remind myself multiple times within the same hour that everything is okay and that my existence alone is simply enough. When I do fully surrender to that trust, beautiful synchronicities seem to fall into place as if they were meant to be exactly as they are. For years I’ve wrestled with anxiety, imposter syndrome and an insanely active inner dialogue that can be absolutely brutal. That is okay because I am working on it, running through the dark forests of my mind with a bright torch yelling GTFO! (Making room for love to grow in it’s place.)
The word “wellness” covers a wide pool of trendy topics, often used for profit, targeting all demographics with cleverly creative marketing angles. Nothing beats good ole capitalism right? Tis the society we raised, and like most parents, ‘we think we did our best’, but sometimes ‘best’ just isn’t good enough, especially in messy tangled situations. It’s fine, because there is a greater plan and we will transcend in due time as the collective soul awakens.
WELLNESS (far beyond overused tag lines in mainstream media) is a REAL pursuit towards an optimal life. True wellness is the foundation of self-perseverance inside and out (and it is your responsibility to water the garden of mind, body and spirit). It is an intimate relationship with the self that holds sacred validity on all vibrations. You are the only one who can have that much POWER over you. I strongly encourage myself and my fellow humans to use that power for goodness in hope that the raw truth we cultivate within ourselves will reflect out and nourish us, galvanizing and balancing the knotted webs of tethered energy choking this world. If we set ourselves free, we set each other free…like a massive lung taking a big huge breath of fresh air. Exhale. Woosah.
Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu. (“May all beings be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and freedom for all.”)
This little place of mine here online has periods of being neglected in which I completely pretend it doesn’t exist at all. That is totally okay.
When I plug back in and read comments that spark my soul, it gives me fuel to write again and to share whatever I’m feeling freely. (I’d rather express true words every now and then instead of spitting consistent bull to meet some expectation.)
This blog started out as a sort of diary towards a better me. Then pressure built up from people around me as to what I “should” be doing. I realize as I’ve gotten older, that the process of filtering my own thoughts from others’ opinions has become less of an innately automatic occurrence, and more of an anxiety trigger. Anxiety is a crippling liar wearing a mask called fear. I struggle with this and it manifests in procrastination and indecision. Love the journey, right?
How do you begin to traverse such a multi-dimensional space?
I have so many questions and although I may not have answers to most of them, there is one thing I’ve realized and accepted in 26 years of living —I need roots, the kind of roots that my brain can build a healthy life upon. They say networking is important—making connections or whatever.
“It’s not what ya know, it’s who ya know.” Right?
But who are you? Do you really know you?
We are what we think and what we do, a production of thoughts and actions. So, with that truth, we must recognize that the relationship we have with ourselves is a powerful connection that truly matters. Without establishing that bond, there’s no true beginning. How do you know where you are if you don’t remember or care about where you started?
(This article is published in the Healthy Living Section of Tallahassee Woman Magazine’s August/September 2017 issue. I love writing and sharing ways to live healthfully. I had a great time brainstorming and researching for this project. The best part was watching Sleepless in Seattle to prepare for the theme! The topic covers the importance of sleep for a healthy life and tips to get the restful nights you deserve.)
“Sleepless in Tallahassee”
Second to love, sleep is the closest thing we have to magic.
Today, we face a sleep deprivation epidemic in which incidences of dozing off at work or behind the wheel happen all too often. Our modern world dances to the beat of it’s own drum, an unhealthy fast-paced society whose sleeping hours are dictated by the flip of a light switch instead of the absence of sunlight. While we can’t stop evolution, we can take hold of our lives as individuals. Developing healthy sleep patterns cultivates synchronicity, attuning us to the circadian clock, a biological mechanism that guides the lives of not only humans, but also plants and animals.
This recipe is simple, super scrumptious and allergy friendly/adaptable. It’s gluten-free, dairy-free and soy-free. You can make this recipe vegan by using an egg replacement (more power to ya)!
Enjoy…share…and let me know if you have any feedback!
I try not to overdo it, but sweets are my weakness and I love baking! I fell in love with baking when I was in my first couple of gluten-free years around 2014, also not too long after starting this blog. I would find bliss in every step, especially the photos and the anticipation of tasty results. Nowadays I don’t have as much leisure and I’m lucky if I can get one recipe post done a month, but I try because it’s a hobby and sharing that brings me joy. Follow your bliss right? 🙂